A Letter to my Anxiety

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Dear Anxiety,

I do not think you realise how you make me feel, for if you did I do not believe you would hang around for so long. So I think it’s time for you to hear a few home truths!

You need to know the impact you have upon me. You have zapped my energy, you make me feel constantly sick, you’ve affected how I manage stressful situations and you have given my confidence and self-esteem a big slap in the face. If you were a real person, you would be a bully. Someone who grinds you down and makes you feel insignificant. YOU become what is significant in an extremely negative way.

Because of you I have felt the darkness of my thoughts BUT I have thankfully come through the other side. For that I am thankful. Now I can look back to those dreadful months and see how far I have come. No longer will I worry about what others think of me. No longer will I talk about myself in a negative way, I WILL be kind to myself and give myself a break! I have now learnt to put a positive slant to as many things as I can, sometimes I succeed, other times I don’t, but I know that things do improve and I can feel better. You have taught me a valuable lesson that I CAN make myself well, I can wake up without feeling sick, I can go a full day without a churning in my stomach and a knot in my chest. I am brave and I can succeed.

So how did I do this you may ask, well, after what felt like an eternity, I realised that I had to cut the negativity out of my life, slowly but surely I felt the grip you had on me lessen. Each day I felt you losing your power and I felt powerful. I talked to my family and friends, I made myself do daily activities like reading and walking to clear my mind. I spoke to my GP who was helpful, you made me fear seeking support but actually you were wrong, I was wrong, people do care. There are so many people in my life who want to support me, I just had to trust in them.

Sometimes I feel you when I am excited nervous, you give me energy to succeed, to win the race, to reach a goal, why can’t you be like that all the time? You gain so much more from me when you are flushing my body with adrenaline to succeed. Anxiety, please stop being the bully, stop being the bad inside me, be the good, be the positivity I need on the days when I am not feeling positive. Stop feeding that negativity.

I know I will be ok, I have experienced the worst feelings in the world because of you, but, because of you I know that I can get through those dark days. So, thank you Anxiety, thank you for showing me who I really am, ME.

If anxiety is making you feel like this in anyway, my advice to you is to seek help, talk to your friends, talk to your parents or carers, and talk to your teachers or an adult you can trust. Visit the GP, access counselling services, there is information on this Blog with support and crisis support numbers and websites for you. Think about what you feel like when you are well, what do you like to do? Take a look at the Emotional wellbeing tools on this Blog for some ideas.

 

 

 


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